Crazy English by Richard Lederer

Crazy English

by Richard Lederer

Let’s face it: English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant or ham in

hamburger, neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins were not invented in England or french fries in France. Sweetmeats are

candies, while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can

work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a

pig.

And why is it that writers write, but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce, and hammers

don’t ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So,

one moose, 2 meese? One index, two indices? Is cheese the plural of choose?

If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what

does a humanitarian eat?

In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send

cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on

parkways?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy

are opposites? How can the weather be hot as hell one day an cold as hell another?

When a house burns up, it burns down.

You fill in a form by filling it out and an alarm clock goes off by going on.

When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it?

Now I know why I flunked my English. It’s not my fault; the silly language doesn’t quite

know whether it’s coming or going.

Thomas Gouard

Lake CTA

Call me the ‘CAN-man’ ‘cause anybody can get some!

 “Call me the ‘CAN-man’ ‘cause anybody can get some, Mexi-CANs, Afri-CANS, Ameri-CANs, even republi-CANS.”

Oregon is overrated!

I was very excited to see Oregon lose to Utah this past Saturday. It really made my day, after seeing Tennessee, lose to Florida, and Texas Tech, lose to Texas Christian University. Oregon is so overrated, and a let down to their football fans.  

Small town guy, with big dreams

In Lawrence Collerds ‘City Of Big Shoulders’, Lawrence writes about what it is like living in the inner city neighborhoods of Chicago, and how it shaped him into who he is today. My experiences, and things that I encountered while growing up in the city of Danville has shaped me in a different type of way.

A small town in Illinois, that is 17.89 sq miles, with a population of 33,000, and decreasing every year. Danville, is the town where I grew up in, and also the only place that I call home, before joining the United States Marine Corps, and moving away at the age of 21. Danville is located 120 miles south of Chicago, and 90 miles west of Indianapolis, Indiana. Nicknamed “Little Chicago“, not sure why, and who gave it that nickname, but it is far from the caliber of a Chicago, as far as things to do.

Comparing Danville to Chicago, is like comparing Osco-Jewel to Family Dollar. Chicago is a big city, with many landmarks, history, and sporting events. Many people fly to Chicago to experience these things, such as the Navy Pier, Sears (Willis) Tower, Millennium Park, John Hancock Center, but people drive through Danville to get to where they need to go. To know about Danville you would have to live there, or have grown up there. Chicago, also has the Oriental Theatre, which was built in 1926, formerly known as the Iroquois Theatre. In Danville we have the Fischer Theater, which was built in 1884. Other than that, just historical buildings in Danville, such as Engine House No. 2, which was the first all African American fire station, active from 1898 to 1963. Danville, is also the home of a hot-air balloon festival called the ‘Balloon Classic’

While growing up in Danville, we played little league football, little league baseball, went to the mall, went roller skating at Illini Skate land, played in a basketball tournament called the ‘Dustbowl‘, and watched the Labor Day Parade, which was a huge parade downtown, that brought everyone out. As a kid, those were the things that I, and everyone else looked forward to every year. All are still popular things to this day.

Little league football, has always been very big in the town that I grew up in, and a lot more bigger to this day. It has always been one of the more popular things to keep children active. These years the coaches are the generation that I grew up with, and my cousin being one of the main coaches. Little league football teams now travel to places more further out to play football games. This year, a few of the teams are preparing for a tournament in San Antonio Texas. It makes me smile to see so many positive things, still going on in my hometown.

Catching a ride or the bus, out to the mall meant going to our favorite stores like: KB Toy Store, Gliks, Sears, Foot Action, Footlocker, or watching a movie at our cinema. I can never forget about going to ‘KB Toys’ store, and looking at things that we wished to have for Christmas, or going to Foot Action, and Footlocker, looking to look at shoes. Gliks, was a store that sold many fashions of clothes. I loved walking around Gliks, just to look at the different styles of clothing. Brands such as North Face, Quicksilver, and Billabong, are a few. There was a restaurant that opened up called ‘Garfield’s’, and as the years went by, stores shut down, and new ones opened up. A lot of them were stores that I went to, while growing up. To this day, the food court at the Village Mall, has shut down, and there is a Buffalo Wild Wings, that sits right next door, and a ‘Hibbett Sports’ store, that I’m mesmerized by, every time I visit home.

The weekend hit, and we were all quick to catch a ride to Illini Skateland. Some of my favorite times at Illini Skateland were picking what skates to wear, playing arcade games, playing limbo, the race around the circle, and watching the Super bowl. Picking skates was always fun, because there were two different types: the brown skates, and the black skates. The brown skates were the slower, and cheaply made skates, and came with general admission. The black skates were the faster skates, that one had to pay extra for. I remember playing video games, like it was yesterday at Illini Skateland. Arcade games such as: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Street Fighter 2, Pac Man, NBA Jam, and Roller ball, which is similar to bowling, but with a tiny ball. Getting a high score in Roller ball, you get tickets, and with those tickets you can turn them in and get prizes or food. Limbo, and the race around the circle put us all in the spotlight, and against one another. Limbo, is always fun, but much more fun with skates on.

The race around the circle was a chance for the speedy skaters, to race against one another, and hopefully you did not have those brown skates on, while trying to race or you would get left in the dust. Another good memory, that I can not forget is watching the Super bowl at Illini Skate land. Arriving at Illini Skateland on Super bowl Sunday, you pick your team. Once your team scored at point, you got a free soft drink. It was always good times, and got us out of the house as children.

The Dustbowl Basketball Tournament has been around for forty-three years, and brings high caliber competition to Danville. The Dustbowl is sanctioned by the National Collegiate Athletic Association, and draws Division I college players, as well as former and current professional players. The Dustbowl is held every year at our David S. Palmer Civic Center, which holds sporting events, our graduation, and is turned into a ice skating rink, during the winter months. In my younger childhood years, I remember going to the hockey events at the David S. Palmer Civic Center, and being more interested in the brawling matches more than the actual game. I always got a kick out of the fans bashing the referee also. Those were the good old times, that I can not forget.

Labor Day is here, and everyone in our small town is out on Vermilion Street to watch our town businesses, local schools, the fire department, Veterans Of Foreign Wars, and many other figures, march down Vermilion Street. My younger childhood years, I loved getting candy at the parade, but playing sports, we got a chance to be part of the actual parade. The attention was great, and made us feel like we were part of something.

Danville is also the home town of a few celebrities such as: Keon Clark, Luther Reigns, Jerry and Dick Van Dyke, and Gene Hackman. In my high school years, I worked at a pizza place named ’Jockos Pizza Inn’, and every now and then, I would see the power forward ‘Keon Clark’ from the Denver Nuggets, at the register, waiting to pick his food up. In my junior high school years, I lived right down the street from the house that ‘Gene Hackman’ was raised in. A classy looking green house, that burned down years ago. Gene Hackman, starred in movies such as: Superman, Mississippi Burning, Get Shorty, Birdcage, and Enemy Of The State. Back in 2004, Gene Hackman, returned to Danville, to sign autographs at the Danville Public Library.

It wasn’t until my graduation from Danville High School, when I realized that I did not want to stay in my hometown forever. The speech at my graduation made me think, and it hit home, after the graduation. I realized that I wanted more, and to see the world. I started to notice that many African American males, were not doing much with their lives in my hometown. Many worked at fast food restaurants, sold drugs, and ended up in and out of jail. It was a life that I did not want to live, and it sparked motivation for me to either go to college, or join the military to get out.

I have been working since going to middle school, and my very first job held was at Steak ’N’ Shake. During high school, and to the time of graduation, I worked at Jockos Pizza Inn, and certainly did not want to work there forever. My senior year my sister had a interest in joining the United States Marine Corps, along with a few of my friends from high school. They drug me out to a few of the ‘Poolee Functions’ held by the Marines. A ‘Poolee Function’ is a big workout session, that prepares future recruits for Marine Corps boot camp. A ‘Poolee’ is what you are called, once you sign the contract, and enlist into the United States Marine Corps. From the time that you enlist to the time that you ship to boot camp, you are called a ‘Poolee‘. Once you arrive at recruit training, you are called a recruit. At the ‘Poolee Functions, we do what we call a IST ‘Initial Strength Test‘. It is done every month prior to a ‘Poolee’ joining. The workouts for the ‘Initial Strength Test’ were: sit-ups, pull-ups, and a 1.50 mile run. After that we did something fun like playing football, baseball, or swimming. The functions brought a lot of camaraderie, and gave us a chance to meet other young adults, from different areas embarking on the same journey of joining the Marine Corps. The recruiters also held workout sessions at the recruiting station, which closed down as of this year. I can never forget freezing my butt off, while running around the neighborhood near the recruiting station, and not knowing what to expect at the workouts always gave me the jitters.

A year went on, and my friends kept dragging me out to the workouts. My fitness level was a lot better than the current Poolees. They signed their contract, and was well on their way to Marine Corps boot camp, and I was just a guest. That opened the recruiters eyes, and they kept in contact with me. My recruiters name was Staff Sergeant Jones, now Master Sergeant Jones (Retired). I remember getting calls from the recruiters on a monthly basis, but still had a interest in going to college, but just did not have the money for it.

I worked, and worked, but living with a single mother was just too much. My dreams of going to college were fading away due to helping my mother out on a regular basis with bills. Many depressing moments, and there were times that I felt that I was headed down the road that many other African American males, were at in my hometown. It wasn’t until mid 2001, when Staff Sergeant Jones, called me up and asked me if I was interested in taking the enlistment process to another step. I was very excited to take it to the next step, and September was the month that I shipped to Marine Corps boot camp. Joining the military meant seeing the world, and also the possibility of getting deployed, but at the time I really did not care about getting deployed. I heard many horror stories from my uncles, and co-workers, but the only thing on my mind was getting out of my hometown. I felt that I made it, and there was not going to be anything that stops me. September 23, came around and I shipped to Marine Corps Recruit Depot, in San Diego, California, with the memory Danville, pushing me during times that I wanted to give up.

Thess 3:16

I pray that the Lord, who gives peace, will always bless you with peace. May the Lord be with all of you too. -Thess 3:16

Too much fun and not enough running!

Thomas Gouard

2014 Chicago Marathon

Trip to Chicago

Last years trip to Chicago for 2014 Chicago Marathon. Great time!

Edgewater Presbyterian Church

iRunner

Edgewater Fitness

Matthew 5:13-16

Edgewater Presbyterian Church

Team RWB

Thomas Gouard

HyleteNation

HyleteNation

HyleteNation

No work today!

No work today thank God! I can get some studying in. I went in, but was sent away, due to Jewish holiday. I would like to read a few chapters in my mental health book, for my addiction studies class, and definitely would like to tweak my essay up.

Mark 10:12

Mark 10:12 "And a woman who divorces her husband so she can marry someone else commits adultery."

Don't cry over the past, it's gone.

Don't cry over the past, it's gone. Don't stress about the future, it hasn't arrived. Live in the present and make it count.

5 rules of a relationship

1. Stay faithful. 2. Make them feel wanted. 3. Respect your partner. 4. Don't flirt with others. 5. Make time.

Small town guy, with big dreams

A small town in Illinois, that is 17.89 sq miles, with a population of 33,000, and decreasing every year. Danville is the town that I grew up in, and also the only place that I call home, despite of joining the United States Marine Corps, at the age of 21, and moving away. Danville is located 120 miles south of Chicago, and 90 miles west of Indianapolis, Indiana. Nicknamed “Little Chicago“, not sure why, and who gave it that nickname, but it is far from the caliber of a Chicago, as far as things to do.

While growing up in Danville, we played little league football, little league baseball, went to the mall, went roller skating at Illini Skateland, played in a basketball tournament called the “Dustbowl“, and watched the Labor Day Parade, which was a huge parade downtown, that brought everyone out. As a kid, those were the things that I, and everyone else looked forward to every year. All are still popular things to this day.

Little league football, has always been very big in the town that I grew up in, and a lot more bigger to this day. It has always been one of the more popular things to keep children active. Coached by the generation that I grew up with, and my cousin being one of the main coaches. Little league football teams now travel to places more further out. Last year, they entered a tournament in Texas.

The weekend hit, and we were all quick to catch a ride to Illini Skateland. Some of my favorite times at Illini Skateland were picking what skates to wear, playing arcade games, playing limbo, the race around the circle, and watching the Super bowl. Picking skates was always fun, because there were two different types: the brown skates, and the black skates. The brown skates were the slower, and cheaply made skates, and came with general admission. The black skates were the more faster skates, that you had to pay extra for. I remember playing video games, like it was yesterday at Illini Skateland. Arcade games such as: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Street Fighter 2, Pac Man, NBA Jam, and Roller ball, which is similar to bowling, but with a tiny ball. Getting a high score in Roller ball, you get tickets, and with those tickets you can turn them in and get prizes or food. Limbo, and the race around the circle put us all in the spotlight, and against one another. Limbo, is always fun, but much more fun with skates on.

The race around the circle was a chance for the speedy skaters, to race against one another, and hopefully you did not have those brown skates on, while trying to race or you would get left in the dust. Another good memory, that I can not forget is watching the Super bowl at Illini Skateland. Arriving at Illini Skateland on Super bowl Sunday, you pick your team. Once your team scored at point, you got a free drink. It was always good times, and got us out of the house as children.

The Dustbowl Basketball Tournament has been around for forty-three years, and brings high caliber competition to Danville. The Dustbowl is sanctioned by the National Collegiate Athletic Association, and draws Division I college players, as well as former and current professional players. The Dustbowl is held every year at our David S. Palmer Civic Center, which holds sporting events, our graduation, and is turned into a ice skating rink, during the winter months. In my younger childhood years, I remember going to the hockey events at the David S. Palmer Civic Center, and being more interested in the brawling matches more than the actual game. I always got a kick out of the fans bashing the referee also. Those were the good old times, that I can not forget.

Labor Day is here, and everyone in our small town is out on Vermilion Street to watch our town businesses, local schools, the fire department, Veterans Of Foreign Wars, and many other figures, march down Vermilion Street. My younger childhood years, I loved getting candy at the parade, but playing sports, we got a chance to be part of the actual parade. The attention was great, and made us feel like we were part of something.

Danville is also the home town of a few celebrities such as: Keon Clark, Luther Reigns, and Gene Hackman. In my high school years, I worked at a pizza place named ’Jockos Pizza Inn’, and every now and then, I would see the power forward ‘Keon Clark’ from the Denver Nuggets, at the register, waiting to pick his food up. In my junior high school years, I lived right down the street from the house that ‘Gene Hackman’ was raised in. A classy looking green house, that burned down years ago. Gene Hackman, starred in movies such as: Superman, Mississippi Burning, Get Shorty, Birdcage, and Enemy Of The State. Back in 2004, Gene Hackman, returned to Danville, to sign autographs at the Danville Public Library.

It wasn’t until my graduation from Danville High School, when I realized that I did not want to stay in my hometown forever. The speech at my graduation made me think, and it hit home, after the graduation. I realized that I wanted more, and to see the world. I started to notice that many African American males, were not doing much with their lives in my hometown. Many worked at fast food restaurants, sold drugs, and ended up in and out of jail. It was a life that I did not want to live, and it sparked motivation for me to either go to college, or join the military to get out.

I have been working since going to middle school, and my very first job held was at Steak ’N’ Shake. During high school, and to the time of graduation, I worked at Jockos Pizza Inn, and certainly did not want to work there forever. My senior year my sister had a interest in joining the United States Marine Corps, along with a few of my friends from high school. They drug me out to a few of the ‘Poolee Functions’ held by the Marines. A “Poolee Function” is a big workout session, that prepares future recruits for Marine Corps boot camp. A Poolee, is what you are called, once you sign the contract, and enlist into the United States Marine Corps. From the time that you enlist to the time that you ship to boot camp, you are called a “Poolee”. Once you arrive at recruit training, you are called a recruit.

A year went on, and my friends kept dragging me out to the workouts, and I my fitness level was a lot better than the future recruits. They signed their contract, and was well on their way to Marine Corps boot camp, and I was just a guest. That opened the recruiters eyes, and they kept in contact with me. My recruiters name was Staff Sergeant Jones, now Master Sergeant Jones (Retired). I remember getting calls from the recruiters, on a monthly basis, but still had a interest in going to college, but just did not have the money for it.

I worked, and worked, but living with a single mother was just too much. My dreams of going to college, were fading away, due to helping my mother out on a regular basis with bills. Many depressing moments, and there were times that I felt that I was headed down the road that many other African American males, were at in my hometown. It wasn’t until mid 2001, when Staff Sergeant Jones, called me up and asked me if I was interested in taking the enlistment process to another step. I was very excited to take it to the next step, and September was the month that I shipped to Marine Corps boot camp.

Joining the military ment seeing the world, and also the possibility of getting deployed, but at the time I really did not care about getting deployed. I heard many horror stories from my uncles, and co-workers, but the only thing on my mind was getting out of my hometown. I felt that I made it, and there was not going to be anything that stops me. The main people with things to say about my decision, were people that did not seem to have settled for living in Danville.

Graduating from Marine Corps bootcamp, December, 2002, I looked forward to stopping at my old job to see everyone. My mom drove me around to show me off to everyone. I remember it like it was yesterday, having my military style haircut, and being kind of embarrassed by it. As the years went on, I continued to visit Danville, while serving in the Marine Corps. I served a total of twelve years, and have lived in Okinawa, Japan, Jacksonville, North Carolina, Arlington, Virginia, Columbus, Ohio, and Honolulu, Hawaii.

In 2014, the military was downsizing. Not having the same desire I had before, I felt that my time to go was near. The same Marine Corps that I had joined in 2002, was not the same anymore. Tattoo policies became strict, and minor situations turned into something big, that would leave you with a write up, that made it tough to compete with others, as far as re-enlistment and promotions. I lost my desire, and started planning for my future outside of the Marine Corps. 

Making a life in Hawaii, or going back to my home state were my two options, and I had plenty of time to figure out which was a better choice. I had little luck with employment in Hawaii, not having a degree. The jobs that I received calls from did not pay enough, and Hawaii was a very expensive place to live, so I reached out to my home state. Chicago was always a place that I traveled to, when I flew in to visit my family in Danville. I also flew out to Chicago to run a half marathon, and full marathons in the past, so I liked the idea of possibly relocating to Chicago. It was close to family, but not too close. A lot better than Hawaii, as far as distance to family.

I had no desire to move back to Danville, which had changed throughout the years. Many business were shut down, and many new business had opened up. Danville, now has a Buffalo Wild Wings, and a Hibbett Sports store, that I’m mesmerized by every time I visit. Walmart is better than our actual mall, which is named the Village Mall. It is the only mall, that I have every seen, that does not have a food court. It had one, when we were younger, but I’m not sure what happened throughout the years. Maybe the business was not so good, so they shut it down, I don’t know. That remains a mystery.

A month prior to my departure from the Marine Corps, I found a place on the north side of Chicago, and also made contact with a few jobs outside of Chicago. I felt there was hope, after the Marine Corps. I did not want to be a veteran on the streets, or without money. My goal was to get settled, and enroll in a school. Departing the Marine Corps on a good note, I left with a lot that I’m very thankful for. One of those things were the opportunity to go to school, and I had a list of schools to choose from.

The desire to get out of Danville, drove me to joining the Marine Corps, and seeing the world through my career. I now have everything that I ever wanted, graduating from Danville High School. It just took me fifteen years to obtain it. As of right now I’m currently attending Harold Washington College, near family, and not in Danville, Illinois. Unlike some of the others that fueled my passion to get out of Danville, I have a lot to be proud, and to be thankful for. Chicago is a great city! I love the history of it, love riding the ’L’ train to school, the long bike rides downtown, and also running on the Lakefront trail. Chicago has definitely gave me the chance I needed, but my dreams do not end in the city nicknamed the “Windy City”.

Isaiah 40:31

Those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles. -Isaiah 40:31

Me and Toney

I want you to be happy

Yeezus

I'm seriously not feeling this picture. It makes me not want to listen to Kanye's music period. Not sure of this was photoshopped, or is this really true. I also just heard a diss video about Jay Z on Facebook, that talks alot about Illuminati. I used to be a big fan of Jay Z when I was growing up, but as of this moment I'm really not sure anymore.

Leg press

Working my legs today at the gym. Omg, i look rough

Proverbs 19:19

Proverbs19:19  Let angry people endure the backlash of their own anger; if you try to make it better, you'll only make it worse.

Proverbs 21:19

Happy Hump Day!

We are at the tip of the week, now it is all down hill! I should be knocking out my math assignment, but instead I'm blogging ; )
I'm learning a lot about what drugs, and alcohol does to our brain, in my mental health class. I'm not into drugs, but do have a beer or two every now and then. All of this information kind of makes me think twice about having even a simple beer. The use of any type of substance can activate a neurotransmitter called a 'Dopamine'.

Dopamine also plays a role in addiction, because it is part of the brain's system of motivation. Some drugs stimulate its production, leading to increased levels and a corresponding high. When the drug exits the system, it leaves behind a sense of depression and a slowdown, which can only be remedied by increasing levels of the neurotransmitter again. The brain quickly learns to seek out drugs that will stimulate production, leading to addiction.

A mind of perfect peace is…

…dependent on Jesus

…looking to Jesus

…leaning on Jesus

…seeking Jesus

…believing Jesus

…trusting Jesus

…loving Jesus

…living for Jesus

Free. Content. Joyful. Peaceful. Complete. Secure.

Brain imaging on drugs

https://youtu.be/f2e98k0sTag

Pacific Velo

Crowded on the train

Very crowded on the train today. This is one of the things that I have to look forward to on Tuesdays when my class ends late. That 2 p.m. / 3 p.m. big crowd of people getting out of school and leaving work. Oh my god!

Test on Thursday

OMG, I got my first math test on Thursday. We did a practice test today, and "Good Lord, I need to study!". It's on tonight! I'm happy that I got my run/ bike ride out of the way, so I can soley focus on that, and my mental health 224 book, this evening. I love reading my mental health books, they're very interesting reads.

Focus on loving god!

When you start focusing on a loving God who's given everything & stop focusing on what seems to be going wrong, you will see breakthrough.

Satchel Paige

Never let the odds keep you from pursuing what you know in your heart you were meant to do. – Satchel Paige

Abigail Van Buren

If we could sell our experience for what they cost us, we'd all be millionaires. – Abigail Van Buren

My second love ♡

After........

Harold Washington College

Thomas Gouard

Homework

Studying at Starbucks! : )

Faith Of The American Soldier

Great book!

Proverbs 29:25

Proverbs 29:25 The fear of human opinion disables; trusting in GOD protects you from that.

Proverbs 3:3

Never let loyalty and kindness leave you! Tie them around your neck as a reminder. Write them deep within your heart. -Proverbs 3:3

Missing is a part of loving

Missing someone is a part of loving them. If you're never apart, you'll never really know how strong your love is.