Dear Love....

Dear Love,

 

First off, I want to say that I am very sorry. What are we doing? No one enters relationship and expects it to end. We are supposed to be planning a life together, but we are not talking. How can we go from talking everyday, and all day on the phone to nothing! How can we go from being friends; to lovers; to being nothing! I wake up at times and think to myself will I ever have another relationship that will ever match up to ours. At times, I wake up and don't know what to expect, if I were to enter another relationship, and don't think I have what it takes to please anyone else. I wake up everyday, and I think how it would be if I ever made contact with you,  but the side if me that is very skeptical about our relationship shuts any positive thinking down.  I think I could handle things better if you made the first move,  but I know that it would be impossible for that to happen. We are supposed to be a team, but those memories are fading more and more away. A couple that inspired many, and supported each other in personal goals in the fitness community,  and outside of the fitness community. Our times when we got along together will never be matched, and hope to myself that you will find someone that will give you what you deserve, because you are worth everything due to what you've encountered in your relationships. I'm sorry that I let you down; I'm sorry that I didn't give you what you deserved; I'm sorry that we couldn't handle our negative situations better. I do know that there is a man out there, that would give you everything that you didn't receive from me in our relationship,  and i pray that you meet him. I never entered our relationship, and wanted it to end, but it is only too much that the heart can take when fighting and love are involved. The devil, surely has won this relationship ending battle, and it will never be the same. I only wanted to start over from the start, and get to know you again as a friend; then slowly get back into what we were,  but you aren't interested in that, and that's what breaks my heart! I wish you the best love, and I will never forget about you. I miss you very much!

A mind of perfect peace is…

…dependent on Jesus

…looking to Jesus

…leaning on Jesus

…seeking Jesus

…believing Jesus

…trusting Jesus

…loving Jesus

…living for Jesus

Free. Content. Joyful. Peaceful. Complete. Secure.

Test on Thursday

OMG, I got my first math test on Thursday. We did a practice test today, and "Good Lord, I need to study!". It's on tonight! I'm happy that I got my run/ bike ride out of the way, so I can soley focus on that, and my mental health 224 book, this evening. I love reading my mental health books, they're very interesting reads.

I put on some muscle. Nice huh?

Do different, and get different results!

Balancing school, work, fitness, and a long distance relationship

While growing up I’ve learned to balance many things in life. Having a career, I had to balance my favorite activities, and work. As the years went on, I picked up more responsibility at work, found myself in a relationship, and also started school at Harold Washington College. Having so many things committed to can cause a lot of stress at times, especially when you don’t show enough attention to one or the other.

On a daily basis I have to prioritize all of the four, with school being my main priority. Not showing school enough attention can cause bad grades, the possibility of dropping out, and not getting where I want to be in life.

My job is the most least important, out of the four, considering that my school is paid for. I work as a supported living assistant, with an adult with a disability. The job is more for experience, and extra income, while attending school at Harold Washington. My work schedule is planned around my school schedule, but I do work when I‘m scheduled to work. The thought of being fired from a job, or getting a bad recommendation, doesn’t sit well with me, so I have to make it a priority.

Since 2007, I have been deeply into running, and now cycling. I run anything from 1 mile to a 31 mile ultra marathon run. It is my cure after a long day, or before my day starts, to clear my mind. It has been my favorite stress reliever for 8 years now, and it keeps me sane. I’m a lot more calmer, and feel that I can take over the world, when I have started my day with a workout.

I found myself in a long distance relationship, this year, after leaving Honolulu, Hawaii. So far, we’ve been dating for 1 year, and 3 months now. Prior to dating, we were friends for 2 years, and met while in the running community. Being in a relationship with someone that shares a main interest in a hobby that you love dearly, always opens up conversations. Being in a long distance relationship, you always have to have a good level of trust, and communication with your partner. If not, then it just makes things more confusing, and adds more stress in your life. It can turn a good day, into a bad day before it even starts.

Having so many things committed to will overall make me a better person, and able to plan better. Every responsibility is a priority, and plays a major part in who I’am, and where I want to be in life. Every day, they all have to balance, or it will only make things more complicated in my life.

Work with me

I'm very nervous right now. I'm going to make that call in the morning. My only thing, is not knowing what to expect. I don't know what type of mood she will be in, and I don't know what she has to say to me. I just hope everything works out and we can work through this, because I really don't want to lose a friendship over a simple argument. I have to let her know how I feel, and that I thought about her everyday, that we werent talking. I may get my heart broken, or I may not. I just hope everything works out. I've listened to her voice message 6 times already, and I'm sure I will listen to it a few more times, before I go to bed. Im very nervous, and stalling to make a move.

Mango Days 5k '14'

Running Mango Days 5k, this weekend. I've wanted to run it in the past, but have always had to work. Every 5k race, that I run on this course is always slightly different. I always look forward to everyone. Ala Moana Beach Park, is one of my favorite stomping grounds, and I'm looking forward to running this race this weekend.